The Emperor's New Clothes - (1994) YR1514
Libretto by Gary Bachlund and Deborah Shulman
After a story by Hans Christian Andersen
for bass (Privy Councilor), baritone (Minister-of-State), high baritone (Duke), soprano (Duchess), mezzo soprano (Lady Bottomheavy), character tenor (Emperor), lyric tenor (First Weaver) and lyric soprano (Second Weaver) and chamber ensemble. (circa 50 minutes)
Also in German translation by Annette Zühlke: Des Kaisers neue Kleider.
i. Royal Rondeau and Fugue [Instrumental only]
ii. Conspirators' Duet
Privy Councilor:
M'Lord Minister?
Minister-of-State:
M'Lord Councilor?
Privy Councilor:
May we speak privately?
Minister-of-State:
The Emperor?
Privy Councilor:
Exactly.
In the abstract we
must have a chat.
As Head of State he's weak.
Minister-of-State:
The Emperor?
Privy Councilor:
Exactly.
Matter of fact, we
must agree to see some action done.
Minister-of-State:
The Emperor!
Privy Councilor:
Exactly.
So what are we to do?
Minister-of-State:
Yes, what, and when's the day?
Privy Councilor:
There cannot be delay.
Minister-of-State:
The Emperor?
Privy Councilor:
Exactly.
He shows no interest in war,
nor guns nor ammunition.
Minister-of-State:
Nor for the hale competitor's
athletic competition.
Privy Councilor:
He cares for little else but clothes.
Minister-of-State:
For clothes and for high fashion.
Privy Councilor:
He shows no interest in the State!
Minister-of-State:
This nation's not his passion!
Privy Councilor:
Shh! What if someone's listening?
Minister-of-State:
He cares not for our culture,
not for theater, opera, art.
Privy Councilor:
As ruler, he's an amateur,
for fashion has his heart.
So, what are we to do?
Minister-of-State:
Yes, what, and when's the day?
Privy Councilor:
Our nation's in decay.
Minister-of-State:
The Emperor!
Privy Councilor:
Exactly.
Minister-of-State:
Exactly!
Privy Councilor:
He's a burlesque, a parody,
a travesty.
Minister-of-State:
A farce!
Privy Councilor:
He's dandy, a laughing-stock,
a tragedy.
Minister-of-State:
An arse!
Privy Minister:
He's hindrance, a canker gnaws
within the ship of state.
Minister-of-State:
He's clotheshorse, a fashion-plate
who ought to abdicate.
Privy Councilor:
An elegant solution!
Minister-of-State:
Were he to go,
I could not shed one tear.
Privy Councilor:
Were he to vanish,
I'd not think it queer...
...for he's neurotic, no sovereign,
no potentate.
Minister-of-State:
No Tsar.
Privy Councilor:
He's a blockhead!
He acts the fool! He's fussy....
Minister-of-State:
...and bizarre!
Privy Councilor:
He's capricious!
An obstacle!
Minister-of-State:
Our Emperor...
...until he is proven unfit to rule.
Privy Councilor:
Perhaps he fit to kill?
Minister-of-State:
An assassination?
How I love politics!
Were he to go,
I could shed not one tear.
Privy Councilor:
Were he to vanish,
I'd not think it queer.
Minister-of-State:
Imagine all the fatal hazards
in a wardrobe!
Privy Councilor:
He could be found....
Minister-of-State:
Strangled by a feather boa...
Privy Councilor:
...near some cyanide sachet!
Minister-of-State:
Strung up by a silken slip knot...
Privy Councilor:
...lifeless in his rich array.
Minister-of-State:
Dangling, sadly a propos a
stuffed and trophied popinjay.
Privy Councilor:
Wrung up by a fabric garrote,
shrouded there to hang and sway.
Minister-of-State:
A suicide by clothing!
Were he to go,
I could shed not one tear.
Privy Councilor:
Were he to vanish,
I'd not think it queer.
Together:
Oh, what a tasty scheme!
Oh, what a plan!
Minister-of-State:
As he's dressed fit to kill....
Privy Councilor:
...assassinate the man!
Minister-of-State:
"Vaya con Dios!"
Privy Councilor:
"Adieu" for a spell.
Minister-of-State:
"Leb' wohl!"
Privy Councilor:
"Addio,"
Together:
"Goodbye and farewell."
Minister-of-State:
Destiny calls!
Together:
Goodbye! Farewell!
Privy Councilor:
Ashes to ashes!
Together:
Goodbye! Farewell!
iii. Laughing Quintet
[ The Duke, Duchess and Lady Bottomheavy enter.]
Duke:
What ho! M'Lords!
Privy Councilor:
The Duke!
Minister-of-State:
Duchess!
Duke:
Minister! Councilor!
Sweltering day!
Privy Councilor:
Isn't it?
Minister-of-State:
Isn't it?
Duchess/Lady Bottomheavy:
Isn't it hot?
Privy Councilor:
A fluke!
Duke:
Much as I prefer
at it were once again May!
Minister-of-State:
It isn't.
Privy Councilor:
It isn't.
Duchess/Lady Bottomheavy:
It isn't. It's not!
Together:
We're broiling in August,
and only the strongest
are out at midday!
Duke:
Why is it?
Duchess/Lady Bottomheavy:
Why is it?
Why's it so hot?
Together:
The temperature's rising!
And who is perspiring that fragrant bouquet?
Duke:
Were that I...
Duchess/Lady Bottomheavy:
Were that we out on the yacht!
Together:
Joking, carousing
and passing our days.
Laughing out loud
at the Emperor's ways!
Gossip runs wild
at his foolish displays.
Ha-ha! Hee-hee! Ho-ho!
Scandalous news
at the fool he portrays!
Ah, ha-ha! Hee-hee! Ho-ho!
Ah, ha-ha! Heh!
With every gaffe, we laugh,
"Hip-hip-hoo-ray!"
Privy Councilor:
Rebuke touches each of us.
Mischievous jokers, beware!
Don't be found to expound
jokes without care!
Minister-of-State:
Dear Duke! Duchess! As with us,
previous jokers would dare,
and, while engrossed, almost
were caught unaware!
Minister-of-State/Privy Councilor:
Joking's not prudent
when near to the Emperor!
Poking some fun's
insincere in the Emperor's
point-of-view.
Static, fanatical point-of-view.
Most problematical point-of-view.
Antic and frantic and all too true!
Minister-of-State:
True! And yet I have noticed
it's queer that he....
Privy Councilor:
Quietly, please!
[Minister-of State whispers his gossip to the others.]
Together:
Ho-ho! Ha! Ho-ho! Ha!
Ho-ho-ho! Ha! Hee! etc.
Duke:
But, even so, have you heard
what he does when overseas?
Well....
[Duke whispers his gossip to the others.]
Together:
Ho-ho! Ha! Ho-ho! Ha!
Ho-ho-ho! Ha! Hee! etc.
Privy Councilor:
There's scandalous news
of his catching some social disease,
to whit:...
[Privy Councilor whispers his gossip to the others.]
Together:
Hm-hm-hm! Hm-hm-hm! Ha!
Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..... etc.
Ho-ho-ho-ho! Ha!
Ho-ho-ho-ho! Ha!
Ho-ho-ho! Ha-ha-ha! etc.
iv. The Emperor's Fanfare
Privy Councilor:
The Emperor!
Minister of-State:
The Emperor!
Duke:
Dear Emperor!
Duchess/Lady Bottomheavy:
Most gracious Emperor!
v. The Emperor's Law
Emperor:
As Emperor,
my temper serves
to show the way.
This regal life
shall not be rife
with exposé.
I'll not abide the critic.
I deem them parasitic.
This is my law
you'll hold in awe,
and shall obey.
Never, ever criticize...
me! Me! Me!
Criticize he!
Criticize she!
But, never, ever criticize...
me! Me! Me!
Criticize them!
Criticize they!
Criticize infidels
any old day!
Criticize who?
Criticize you!
Criticize someone else!
Merci beaucoup!
Don't assault my city's
bureaucrat committees!
Never fault my taxes!
Heads will role by axes!
Criticize my politics?
State your views
and run the risks!
Snicker not like ruthless folk!
Never make a regal,
most illegal, truth-less joke!
Your sovereign Lord's renown
deserves a strict display
of honor free from calumny
and false hearsay.
My cardinal rule:
Never act the fool.
Never add more fuel to ridicule.
So, never, ever criticize...
me! Me! Me!
Criticize wit!
That I permit,
but never, ever criticize...
me! Me! Me!
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! etc.
Never, ever criticize...
me!
vi. Introduction of the Weavers
Emperor:
My loyal subjects,
my fellow countrymen,
my children.
How do you like the cape?
How do you like the vest?
The shoes?
Aren't they fine?
Exquisite, lustrous,
heavenly, ravishing,
splendiferous, -diferous, -diferous?
Don't they just
knock your socks off?
Hmm?
Duke:
Oh, yes!
Duchess:
Lovely! Incredible.
Lady Botttomheavy:
Incredible.
Emperor:
You don't know anything!
These are nothing!
These are just schmattes! *
Simply schmattes!
But I have...
a surprise for you,
my little loyal folk!
* A Yiddish word for cheap clothing and rags.
Emperor:
You will not...
Not have to be ashamed!
Not have to be disgraced
by your Emperor for long!
I have heard of and sent for
two of the finest weavers
in all the garment industry!
They will create a new wardrobe
exclusively for me!
No more "off the rack"
for this ruler!
Ladies and gentlemen!
May I present to you the weavers!
vii. The Set-Up
First Weaver:
Your majesty, m'Lords and Ladies,
we have mastered the art of weaving
the most magnificent cloth.
A fabric not only
so thrilling to the eyes,
luxurious to the touch,
but with the wonderful, enchanting
property of being invisible
to anyone unfit for his job.
Inefficient, obtuse or dull,
unenlightened, slow-witted or coarse,
unqualified or vulgar or gauche,
illiterate, tasteless, ill bred....
Emperor:
In other words,
if I understand you correctly,
"stupid?"
First Weaver:
Indeed.
Second Weaver:
We take our payment in advance.
[In the following duet, the two weavers proceed to erect the frame of a loom, and work with their completely imaginary materials, which, with great ceremony, are taken out of the carpetbags which they have brought with them. The Emperor and group of nobles pretend to understand, and try to outdo each other, even in assisting in holding the imaginary cloth. The Privy Councilor watches with suspicion.]
viii. Weaving Magic
First Weaver:
Some folks weave a tale,
while others weave designs.
We create the veil
where magic intertwines.
First Weaver/Second Weaver:
We're weavers
weaving magic! Magic!
Weavers weaving,
weaving, conceiving needlepoint,
the counterpoint to weaving,
weaving magic! Magic!
Weavers weaving magic!
Second Weaver:
Wizards weave a spell,
and gossips weave caprice.
We spin out and sell
from Jason's golden fleece.
First Weaver/Second Weaver:
We're weavers
weaving magic! Magic!
Weavers weaving,
weaving, perceiving stitchery's
own witchery by weavers
weaving magic! Magic!
Weavers weaving magic!
We spin the gossamer threads,
quite visible to you.
Invisible to dolts and clods,
but visible to you.
Emperor:
I see them!
Duke:
Me too!
Duchess:
And me!
First Weaver/Second Weaver:
We loom the exquisite cloth
of rainbow reds and blues.
Invisible to miscreants,
these vibrant, shining hues!
Emperor:
Stunning! Breath-taking!
Duke:
Ever so stunning!
Duchess:
Ever so breath-taking!
First Weaver:
Wise men savor style,
while dullards never do.
We define style, all the while
embroidering for you.
First Weaver/Second Weaver:
We're weavers,
weaving magic! Magic!
Weavers weaving,
weaving, believing greatness
shows itself in clothes of weavers,
weaving magic!! Magic!
Weavers conceiving magic!
Magic! Magic!
First Weaver:
Indeed!
ix. The Fitting
[The fitting may take place behind a cloth, held between two poles or strung on a line.]
Emperor:
What fine clothes to have!
What style, distinction
and a test to tell the fool
from the wise!
To the fitting!
First Weaver:
The fitting!
Emperor:
The fitting!
Second Weaver:
To the fitting!
Emperor:
A test! Dear Lady,
a moment, if you please?
[Lady Bottomheavy disappears with the Emperor and Weavers to the fitting.]
Duchess/Duke:
To hang by a thread
from the fabric of life
is daily the peril we face.
Thus, thereby the dread
politic and the strife
afflict us like rats in a race.
God help us preserve
our distinction and rank,
our status, our standing, our place.
Our privilege serves
well to keenly outflank
the censure of falling from grace.
What shame and disgrace
to hang by a thread
from the fabric of life.
Minister-of-State:
Lady Bottomheavy!
Lady Bottomheavy:
As if in a dream
before my eyes,
I saw a vision so sublime!
A conceptual verity
of the most uncommon kind!
I feel the euphoria
of a revelation!
First Weaver/Second Weaver:
Very nice of you to say.
Emperor:
What fun!
Dear Duchess and Duke!
Come see what's to see!
Lady Bottomheavy/Minister-of-State:
To toil in a mansion
of crystalline glass
is scrutiny
beyond compare.
The stone-thrower's plan -
show distinction by class -
is shattering
beyond repair!
God help us preserve
our position and rank.
Our status, our standing, our place.
Our privilege serves
well to keenly outflank
the censure of falling from grace.
What shame and disgrace
to hang by a thread
from the fabric of life.
Duchess/Duke:
We've seen it!
We've seen it!
Like nothing before!
Like nothing we've seen!
There is no metaphor!
Substantial the subtlety
"par excellence!"
Unparalleled praise,
the proper response!
There's nothing quite like it!
No, nothing quite like it!
There's nothing quite like it!
Oh, no! We've seen it!
Believe me, we've seen it for sure!
First Weaver/Second Weaver:
Very nice of you to say.
Emperor:
Dear Minister, come!
The State awaits!
Duchess/Lady Bottomheavy/Duke:
Uncertain our yarn
in this tapestry's plan,
though cunning and earnest our schemes.
Impersonal politics
works as it can
its Machiavellian themes.
God, help us...
Privy Councilor:
God help us!
Minister-of-State:
God help me!
I've seen nothing at all!
Nothing but the Emperor himself!
No clothes to hide
his regal, royal parts.
Uncovered, unclad underneath!
Oh, am I untrustworthy?
Worthy of naught?
Am I unable to see what I ought?
Am I unfit?
Unenlightened, or what?
Tasteless? Slow-witted?
Or merely distraught?
Ah!
Privy Councilor:
Say nothing without knowing
what you are expected to say!
Follow my lead!
And smile!
x. The Councilor's Advice
Take no notice....
[to the assemblage]
(make no notice...)
[to the Minister-of-State]
...what has here occurred.
Life is most absurd.
What can be inferred
when the meaning's blurred?
What is in a word?
As, for example...
Who can handle "love?"
Who can prove its fact?
What we're thinking of
exists in the abstract.
So, is it real?
Consider these examples:
"Trust" is not a thing
fashioned out of clay.
"Truth," to which we cling,
evaporates away.
Disarray rules the day.
What's the appeal
behind an ideal?
Who knows what's real?
Whose reality
houses gospel truths?
When two disagree,
which one's truth shall lose?
And what can "truth" conceal?
And should we pose the query?
Should we ask why?
Philosophers dream theory.
What pie in the sky!
There's a better reply...
It's politics that does the work
by dirtying its hands,
and politics will never shirk.
It's built on shifting sands.
Politics does as fate demands.
My politics sees many sides.
It changes like the wind.
It rhetoric flows with the tides,
unfixed, yet disciplined.
It is not easily chagrined.
And what's the harm in "make believe?"
In that which is unreal?
Deceptive truth can now reveal
that honest lies are real!
Really truly real!
Through politics, we plainly see...
not all agree.
Whose reality is real?
For the sake of your careers...
take no notice!
Please!
xi. A Royal Approval
[At this point, the Emperor sticks only his head out from behind the changing screen, and announces to all with great ehtusiasm his opinion of the new clothes.]
Emperor:
Wonderful!
Councilor!
I’ll be ready shortly!
For the weavers’ meritorious art,
I grant them a bonus
and the order of...
Knight of the Royal Cloth!
First Weaver/Second Weaver:
Very kind of you to say!
Of you to say!
[The weavers accept their awards and bag of coins from the Minister-of-State, and quickly exit.]
Ready or not!
Here I come!
xii. Fanfare and Rondeau Reprise
[The Emperor parades himself in his royal underwear, at best....]
xiii. The Unveiling
Emperor:
Before I address the nation,
dressed in this latest creation,
tell me your views.
Lady Bottomheavy:
Sire.... Sire....
You've un-....
...unveiled!
You've unveiled
a most individual attire.
Emperor:
Unveiled?
Duchess:
Sire, sire, your
style is revealingly displayed.
Emperor:
Revealingly displayed?
Duke:
Sire, how well you expose
your choice in apparel!
Emperor:
How well I expose?
Minister-of-State:
Sire, you lay bare an evident...
Emperor:
Evident?
Minister-of-State:
...intimate...
Emperor:
Intimate?
Minister-of-State:
...obvious, bold exhibition of...
Of...
Of nothing at all!
Emperor:
Nothing at all?
You don't know anything!
This is something!
Really something!
So there!
Councilor, you'll see me through.
Am I well dressed?
Tell me true?
Privy Councilor:
As political counsel, I respond:
What say you?
Tell me, sire, what say you?
Emperor:
Stand I unclothed
before my retinue?
Privy Councilor:
I'll tell you true!
It's quite a view!
Together:
Unclad, uncovered, unclothed,
undressed at best.
Emperor:
I'm depressed!
Duchess/Lady Bottomheavy:
What a jest.
Together:
Ho-ho-ho! Ha-ha-ha!
Ho-ho-ho-ho! Ha! etc.
xiv. A Velvet Revolution
Emperor:
Ha! What have I done?
I myself am unfit!
Humiliated beyond repair!
My loyal subjects
have seen me bare!
I've no choice but to step down.
I wear the crown, yet act the clown!
Privy Councilor:
Sire, may I suggest a cover-up?
[Privy Councilor hands him a robe.]
Emperor:
There's no choice!
I abdicate my crown!
Privy Councilor:
Not so fast!
There's much to discuss.
For one thing, the matter of us.
What about the aristocracy?
Duchess:
We must protect our privilege
before this empire falls!
Duke:
We must not teeter on the edge,
nor risk our wherewithals.
Lady Bottomheavy:
This nation has always filled our wants,
and built our palace walls.
Minister-of-State:
That must not ever pass away
in revolution's squalls.
Privy Councilor:
The solution is obvious!
Just you wait and see!
Together:
What shall we do?
Privy Councilor:
We must form a parliament!
One house in which we rule!
Another house for common folk.
Let them take ridicule!
Let the press make them the fool!
Sire, we need a figurehead.
A figurehead of state!
Powerless, of course.
Someone stylish to open parliament.
You must not abdicate!
Democratic government
will serve us as a tool.
The concept is a masterstroke:
a jurisdiction who'll
help us preserve our position and rank.
Our status, our standing, our place.
Duchess/Lady Bottomheavy/Duke/Minister-of-State:
And we pray that God grant us
a nation of folk that will
blankly validate what we embrace!
They'll help us conserve
our position and rank.
Our eminence, status and grace.
Democracy's fortunes
will feed us, and, frankly,
favor our odds in the race.
This odd human race will....
Emperor:
May I play the part?
Privy Councilor:
Yes, m'Lord.
Costumes befitting your starring role!
Emperor:
Oh, good. I'm so glad!
I possess the art!
What an art!
Privy Councilor:
Wait, m'Lord.
Acting requires self-control.
Emperor:
Self-control?
I shall...
Privy Councilor:
You shall...
Tutti:
...help us preserve
our position and lofty place.
Privy Councilor:
Lords and Ladies,
shall we vote to subsidize
the Emperor's new clothes?
Gary Bachlund / Deborah Shulman, June 1994
Copyright © 1997 by Yelton Rhodes Music (BMI), Los Angeles. All international rights reserved.
This score is available from Yelton Rhodes Music, Los Angeles, California
