The Story of Innocent Bloat

            Once upon a time there was a land with people, some of whom as wise and good stewards were destined to lead. But most were those slothful others who were unwilling to lead and therefore condemned to follow.


            "One for you and one for us," said politicians to the little folk, "for our betterment and our good."

          
 "One for you and one for public safety and one for us," said politicians to the little folk, "for peace in your neighborhood." Someone said, "It's simply innocent bloat."

          
 "One for you and one for public safety and one for public education and one for us," said politicians to the little folk, "to lead our youth through angst-filled childhood." Educators thought, "We'll learn it's innocent bloat."

          
 "One for you and for one for public safety and one for public education and one for administrative services and that meager little one for us," said politicians to the little folk, "it's practical that we should." Administrators said, "We'll administer the truth; it's necessary, innocent bloat."

          
 "One for you and one for public safety and one for public education and one for administrative services and one for public works and and that measly, meager little one for us," said politicians to the little folk, "to preserve each river, the sky and our green-leaved wood." The public workers worked themselves up to say, "It's  innocent bloat."

          
 "One for you and one for public safety and one for public education and one for administrative services and one for public works and one for the attorneys and and that minuscule, measly, meager little one for us," said politicians to the little folk, "in order clarify what's misunderstood." The attorneys happily testified, "It's rightly innocent bloat."

          
 "One for you and one for public safety and one for public education and one for administrative services and one for public works and one for the attorneys and one for public health and that modest, minuscule, measly, meager  little one for us," said politicians to the little folk, "for wellness, health, and motherhood." The health officials well prescribed, "It's benign, innocent bloat."

          
 "One for you and one for public safety and one for public education and one for administrative services and one for public works and one for the attorneys and one for public health and one for the regulators and that minute, modest, minuscule, measly, meager  little one for us," said politicians to the little folk, "though we'd truly do with less, if possibly we could." The regulators ruled a ruling, "It's regular, innocent bloat."

          
 "One for you and one for public safety and one for public education and one for administrative services and one for public works and one for the attorneys and one for public health and one for the regulators and one for redevelopment and that minor, minute, modest, minuscule, measly, meager little one for us," said politicians to the little folk, "that we make safe your work and livelihood." Developers developed this development as "It's justly innocent bloat."

          
 "One for you and one for public safety and one for public education and one for administrative services and one for public works and one for the attorneys and one for public health and one for the regulators and one for redevelopment and one for affirmative actions and that mean, minor, minute, modest, minuscule, measly, meager little one for us," said politicians to the little folk, "for love and peace and brotherhood." Someone affirmed with conviction, "It's positive, innocent bloat."

          
 "One for you and one for public safety and one for public education and one for administrative services and one for public works and one for the attorneys and one for public health and one for the regulators and one for redevelopment and one for affirmative actions and one for the forecasters and that minimum, mean, minor, minute, modest, minuscule, measly, meager little one for us," said politicians to the little folk, "to prepare for unknown eventuality and each and every likelihood." The forecasters foresaw it as "predicted, innocent bloat."

          
 "One for you and one for public safety and one for public education and one for administrative services and one for public works and one for the attorneys and one for public health and one for the regulators and one for redevelopment and one for affirmative actions and one for the forecasters and one for the compliance officers and of course, in answer to our complaints, two for us," said politicians to the little folk. "With so much work and so much labor, our need for more should not be withstood." The compliance team requested that folks comply with this scheme: "Please comply with sub-chapters one through ten thousand written to explain this innocent bloat."

          
 "One for you and one for public safety and one for public education and one for administrative services and one for public works and one for the attorneys and one for public health and one for the regulators and one for redevelopment and one for affirmative actions and one for the forecasters and one for the compliance officers and one for public re-education and of course, in answer to our complaints, three for us," said politicians to the little folk. "You know, of course, it's for the common good." The fewer among the common folk were willing to say, "It's common, innocent bloat."

          
 "One for you and one for public safety and one for public education and one for administrative services and one for public works and one for the attorneys and one for public health and one for the regulators and one for redevelopment and one for affirmative action and one for the forecasters and one for the compliance officers and one for public re-education and one for the correction of public speech and of course, in answer to our complaints, four for us," said politicians to the little folk, "because it's not about the single individual nor about some silly notion of selfhood." Among the common, burdened folk some began to note, "This might not be just innocent bloat."

          
 "One for you and one for public safety and one for public education and one for administrative services and one for public works and one for the attorneys and one for public health and one for the regulators and one for redevelopment and one for affirmative actions and one for the forecasters and one for the compliance officers and one for public re-education and one for the correction of public speech and one for the enforcement of thought and of course, in answer to our complaints, five for us," said politicians to the little folk, "for our labor to teach you simple minded folk to think the way we think you should." The folks in public safety, public education, administrative services, public works, the attorneys and the folks in public health, the regulators and redevelopers, the folks for affirmative actions, the forecasters and compliance officers, those for public re-education and for the correction of public speech and the enforcement of thought all opined with force, "It's all just innocent bloat."

          
 "One for you and one for public safety and one for public education and one for administrative services and one for public works and one for the attorneys and one for public health and one for the regulators and one for redevelopment and one for affirmative actions and one for the forecasters and one for the compliance officers and one for public re-education and one for the correction of public speech and one for the enforcement of thought and something more for upper management and of course, in answer to our complaints, six for us," said politicians to the little folk. "It has always been that for which we have stood." And louder did the folks in public safety, public education, administrative services, public works, the attorneys and the folks in public health, the regulators and redevelopers, the folks for affirmative actions, the forecasters and compliance officers, those for public re-education and for the correction of public speech and the enforcement of thought, but especially the upper management, all cried of course, "It's no more than innocent bloat."

          
 "One for you and one for public safety and one for public education and one for administrative services and one for public works and one for the attorneys and one for public health and one for the regulators and one for redevelopment and one for affirmative actions and one for the forecasters and one for the compliance officers and one for public re-education and one for the correction of public speech and one for the enforcement of thought and still something more for upper management and then yet more for our fresh and new beloved, dear maximum leader and of course, in answer to our complaints, even more for us," said politicians laughing at the little folk. Then all together did the folks in public safety, public education, administrative services, public works, the attorneys and the folks in public health, the regulators and redevelopers, the folks for affirmative actions, the forecasters and compliance officers, those for public re-education and for the correction of public speech and the enforcement of thought, but especially the upper management and politicians openly ask: "Why not? We say we're worth it! How could you not think we would? How utterly naive; did you ever really believe this was just innocent bloat?"

 

            Once upon a time there was a land with human sheep, and the human shepherds who seemed once both humanly wise and good would lead their human sheep to slaughter. Ah, men....
 

 

Copyright © 2008 by Gary Bachlund